Madness and Mercies

...from a recent email from K:

Hello dear Family and Buddies,

Well, two things have happened in a very short time that I feel are worthy of a "story-type" email. I could have just as easily titled this email "Peeing and Parking"...

For the first "P" word, I go back a short distance to Sunday. Ah, yes. The bliss of an impromptu Sunday drive up the Salève Mountain...eating expensive chocolate, swigging cheap diet coke and B, snoozing in the back seat! It almost felt like P and I were back in our honeymoon days, only this time, road-tripping across Europe a short distance instead of across large swaths of New Zealand.

My sugar and caffeine-induced "buzz" met its match, however, at the zenith when I darted into a restaurant to use the facilities. The (female) bar tender didn't speak English and made some hand motions indicating I'd need to buy a drink to use the bathroom. "That's the problem!" I wanted to say. "I already had too much to drink!" Another employee came up and pointed behind herself, saying something that sounded like "Municipal Toilet" which I took to mean that perhaps, behind the restaurant, I'd find a Biffy. Ha! Silly me! All I could find out there were lots of bushes and a verrrry steep drop over the edge. "Funny joke! You want silly American to take flying leap over edge?!"

Not to be outdone (and not about to pee outside...not quite yet), I went back in for a second go-round and met a nice lady speaking English to her toddler. She was Canadian and spoke good French, too. Let's hear it for Canada! This cute little Mother went in with me and she and the bar tender got into a loud argument. I even found a sign that said, in English, "Toilets for customer use only. All others pay 1 Euro." I had already offered them 1.50 Euro perviously, with no luck. This time, I pointed to the sign and laid my money down again. The Canadian woman looked at me and said, "They don't want to serve you." More words were spoken. Finally, maybe they didn't want more of a scene than was already under-way. The Canadian woman motioned toward the toilets with her head and said, "Just go."

Once in the toilets, I asked her what happened. She said they were convinced I understood them and was faking it. I gave them my money afterwards. But they were mad, I could tell. I found myself wondering why they had that sign up? And...what would they do if I just peed on their floor?

Moral of story: What goes in, must come out. Buy yourself a drink, if in doubt.

Addendum-
We'll post the video we took from the top of the Salève near the restaurant in which you may or not be able to hear the following exchange between us, because of all the wind:

P: Interestingly enough, the French think we're faking it every bit as much as we think they're faking it when it comes to language. They think we know how to speak French, even though we obviously don't, and we think they know how to speak English...
K: -even though they obviously do!
P&K: (much laughter)

---

K: Thursday, I had a Parking Incident. I suppose this was long overdue. I park in the basement of a shopping centre called "Co-op" when I take B for his Speech Therapy in Carrouge (part of Geneva). I figured it was like the basement parking at another grocery store in Ferney-Voltaire, where we used to live: free parking. I was slightly suspicious this time, however, because I saw a few people walk over to a mounted box and poke some buttons, but I had parked there 3 times before without incident. I was gone for 2 1/2 hours this time.

When I returned, there was a metal folding barrier locked in place, behind my car (I don't recall ever seeing these in the USA) blocking me from exiting. It is bolted into the concrete and pulls up to lock, reserving the parking spot for the patron. I have often driven over these in their "down" position and not given it a second thought...I guess I figured if it was reserved, the barrier would be "up", preventing unsuspecting foreigners like me from parking there in the first place!

Moment of panic. Reality sinks in. Waaaay in. Here I am in an underground parking garage with a baby, with my means of escape effectively locked into place by a rather absent and likely irritated, vigilante French person. It was the lunch break (12:30, not due to be over til 2:00) and so all the previously empty spots around my car were filled. I looked around. Sure enough! There was a small-ish sign saying "1-48 parking prive". I was in slot 12, a private spot. The slot owner likely came home for lunch and found my car there and decided to teach me a lesson! Personally, I didn't want to meet him/her.

"Do not cry. Do not cry. Do not cry." I kept telling myself. "This is all a horrible mistake. It will soon be over. Think. Be calm."

I took the elevator back up to the Co-op and found two un-occupied cashiers who understood my broken French. Dang, the one even spoke Spanish and so I was better able to communicate what was going on. She led me to a woman selling liquor who, upon hearing my story, looked at me and shook her head. She made an announcement over the loudspeakers asking the person of slot 12 to come to the counter. Of course, no one came, and the line of people was growing behind me. She went to tend the other customers and then I did start to blubber a little bit. She came back to me and saw me crying (yes, lip quivering even) and shook her head and waved her hands saying, "Oh no, no, no..." Clearly, she didn't want me emoting in public on her watch. I think tears in public are even more shocking in France than they are back in the USA because display of any emotion in public is so rare here.

She tried calling the concierge of the building to no avail. Then, she wrote a note in French on the back of a Marlboro box for me to tape on the barrier. In essence, I think it said, "Please release me....I am a foreigner. I didn't mean to do this. Please excuse me. I am waiting also with my baby." She suggested I might be waiting a long time and to just come up and drink coffee and wait after I posted my sign (again, the suggestion that drinking something might help solve the problem at hand!) I just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible, not "hang out" indefinitely. I prayed all the way back to the car. Thank God baby B was in a good mood (as usual).

I didn't feel like leaving the car so I just stood beside it after I posted the sign. Then, a middle-aged French man in a beret approached me. He had a moustache and very blue eyes. He leaned forward and read my sign. I told him I didn't speak French very well and asked if it was his spot. I started crying a little again. He said "no" and made some hand motions indicating that it was very bad that the person locked me in. He lived there, however. He noticed the car directly across from me was a Taxi. He made hand motions to indicate that he would call the taxi and have the man move out so I could drive out through his spot. Sure enough, 5 minutes later, he returned and said more things in French with hand motions indicating I should hurry up and put B in the car and fold up the stroller so I could sneak out (he was whispering).

Then, in another 5 minutes, the taxi driver man appeared! A short, jubilant-looking man. He also said a lot of things in French to me and pointed to a red compact next to my car. I think he was saying the owner parked there. I guess he knows the owner of slot #12. I tried paying both of them for their help but they would have nothing to do with it. Within minutes, I was leaving the parking garage. A free woman! Whew! I can only hope the slot owner returned and saw I was gone, and perhaps all the other cars still there. I hope he/she is losing sleep, wondering how I escaped. Doubtful. The taxi driver will likely tell the story.

Note to self: Take French lessons. Read the tiny signs.

So...enough excitement for me for one week. It's good to know that even if people can be heartless and vindictive, there are still others out there who are compassionate and willing to take time to help. The body of Christ casts a wide net! I've been "caught".

Your faithful fish,
K