The Home Internet Fast

...upon entering its 22nd day, finally came to an end! So let the Skype calls and emails flow :)

Hello, all,

Some good news at Chez Dudes: we finally have internet again! And what a looong, strange trip its been...

On the 9th of February, we had a friend Dave, whom we know from church, come over and fix various and sundry items. First on the agenda, though was speaking to several ISPs over the phone, in French: "Orange" (France Telecom in disguise), "Neuf", "Tele2" and "Free". After about four hours of gathering information and making a decision, we had arranged to get our internet from "Free" (kind of like the name, except that it isn't - it's ~30euros/mo., like all the others).

The key is customer service. Can you find any in France? Well if it can be found, it'll be found in newer companies like Free. Still...

In the meanwhile, we identified another couple from church that lives in the same complex, in another building, with wireless Internet. So we would occasionally get permission to come to their place and spend some time servicing emails, looking up things on the Internet, doing work, etc. That is, until they left for Morocco. The last time I camped at the base of the building at night, outside, with the sky spitting little flecks of water on my laptop screen. (Mother Nature does not hand out towels with her showers.) The wireless was accessible from there!

So I started receiving emails from Free at my "usfamily.net" address (do you think they know I'm American?), because that's the address I gave them. But of course a U.S. account can't translate all the special characters in the French language, the accents and cedillas and little hats. They get turned into "=E9" and "=EA", etc. I had to fix the emails by hand and then run them through an online translator.

We also got yet a third couple, who also subscribe to the internet through Free, to call Free on our behalf to ask for status. See, the address that Dave wrote down for where the box would be delivered was not actually in the phone book; but he did happen to get the fact that it would be delivered to a fashion shop at "15 Grand Rue" back in Ferney. This was apparently in order to save on delivery charges direct to our apartment. But every time this couple called Free to ask, "Where is this thing being delivered again? Has it been delivered yet?" they would get a different answer, such as "Maison de la Culture" at "27 Grand Rue" in Ferney. Sounds like a techie place to me...We got to thinking it was like one of those secret agent shows: "put two coins in the cup of the homeless guy on the corner of fifth and main. He will direct you to a phone booth in the vicinity. If the phone is ringing upon your arrival, your box has been delivered. Pick up the phone and punch in your personal identification number, and you will receive further instructions. Otherwise you'll never see your Freebox!"

So this last Wednesday we finally got the email we were waiting for: the box is waiting for pickup at - well I guess Dave was right after all: "BJ Fashion Shop, 15 Grand Rue, Ferney". And it was in our landlord's name. And I should be prepared to provide proof of identity in that respect. Problem: landlord lives in Greece.

The complicating factor is that our landlord wants to keep the France Telecom telephone line into his apartment (and the corresponding number) in his name. Because that's the line that carries the ADSL signal, and the number that identifies us to Free, therefore our contract with Free is in his name as well.

So I armed myself with the rental contract and my own passport. But I shouldn't have worried: we are after all talking about a dinky little hole-in-the-wall fashion store. The lady had no interest in verifying my identity and handed over the Freebox "toute de suite."

The same thing happened at the post office in St. Genis. Yep, the wireless card had to be paid for separately, and was sent separately, in the landlord's name, directly to our address - except no one was here at the time to claim it. So just this morning I went to the post office (5 minutes walk), and got the box with the wireless card in it, no questions asked.

One last hurdle: instructions are in French, of course. I spent several hours last night typing in the "express install instructions" into google translator. It was bedtime by the time I was done, so I hooked it up this morning - and there you have it!

Number of emails downloaded today subsequent to our reconnection to the rest of the world: P - 153, K - 147. Woohoo! I win again! :D

Two things that come with this service: telephone, and TV - over internet! So for 30e/mo. we will have an additional phone number that we can use to call 17 countries for free (except for European cell phones), including the U.S. Re: TV, the cable they gave us is too short to reach between where the computer/Freebox is and the TV, but you techies may not be aware that the connection to the TV is entirely different; it's what the French call Péritel, but in English it translates to "SCART".

In other news...

The long saga of the green plates (en francais, "plaques vertes" - sounds like a job for Crelm toothpaste, now with the new miracle ingredient, "fraudulin") for Yoda the Honda is also coming to a close, 2-1/2 months after it started. The period of validity of our temporary French plates was only three weeks. After that, if we wanted to drive in Switzerland, we would have to pay the Swiss ~40CHF for a month's worth. I thought, "well, perhaps we can get by without having to pay if it's only a couple weeks before the plates come." But just this Monday the border guards pulled K over, asked to see the "grey" (registration) card, and made her pay the dough. And just this Thursday I got an email saying that the green plates were approved. I should be getting a new grey card in the mail soon, and the plates shortly after that.

(There was a minor glitch in January: the "attestation d'assurance" we sent with the other paperwork to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Paris had only K's name on it, which we found out after we returned was unacceptable to them. It was also, the insurance company had originally insisted, the only way they could produce this little piece of paper. But when I told them what the Parisians said, suddenly the impossible became as easy as french silk pie - "pie de silk" en francais? - and I got a new attestation with the necessary change. Move over, little dog, the big dog's movin' in.)

My cold has not completely abated; I'm getting serious sinus pressure. K thinks I have a sinus infection. Update: the clinic thought so too. (Pain speaks so simply, yet so powerfully to a guy who's been reluctant up till now to visit the doctor...and antibiotics are a wonderful thing.) B's cold also dogs him, he has a "productive" cough, although he's in pretty good spirits.

The water damage story mentioned in the previous post has also reached near-epic proportions and deserves its own blog entry! Stay tuned...

Meanwhile, also, K has taken a few pictures that deserve posting. Stop back soon.

Take care,
-PKBD